Archive for May, 2010

This has been an eventful week for us!  We had our 34 week scan on Friday, which showed the baby to be right on track growth wise, and at a healthy 4.5 lbs. already.  And, much to Mark and I’s surprise, found that Little Doodle is a Little Doodlette!  It would appear as though we were wrong thinking the baby was a boy. So Little Doodle is now our little girl, our daughter, Madeline.  We had waited for so long to find out it took the rest of the day to sink in that we finally knew!  Mark and I headed to Mothercare and bought our daughter a pretty sun dress.

Then came Saturday, and what a day it was.  I was relaxing on the couch, on my first true day of Maternity Leave, and having just finished my course for the year the day before.  Suddenly, I felt a tightening in my uterus accompanied by menstrual-like cramping.  Ten seconds later, it was gone.

Twenty minutes later, however, it happened again… this time I mentally noted what time it was.  I have had Braxton-Hicks contractions for weeks now, but these were not the same.  Braxton-Hicks are not supposed to have pain or discomfort, whereas these did.  Much like the first, this one passed as well.

It wasn’t until the fifth one, each spaced 15-20 minutes apart, that I called the labor ward at the hospital.

I spoke with a midwife over the phone, went through my symptoms and brief medical history, and she thought it best that I come in for observation.  The next phone call I made was to Mark, who promptly left work to come get me.

“You need to get yourself a clean shirt and a few other bits in case we are there overnight.” he said to me on the phone.

“Wait, what?”

I knew this probably wasn’t the real deal: I was 34 weeks and the pain, while uncomfortable, was not by any means unbearable.  In addition, it was localized in my lower uterus, whereas from what I’ve read true labor pains will be over the entire uterus.  Never the less, the entire uterus was becoming rock solid every 20 minutes or so, with that vague menstrual feeling that was radiating down into my thighs.

I didn’t grab a shirt because, lets face it, I couldn’t tell my ass from a hole in the ground I was so nervous.  Not nervous about labor per se, moreso that we just weren’t ready yet.  We were banking on getting the full 40 weeks, having time to prepare for the arrival… and we hadn’t even packed a hospital bag yet.

Mark took me to the labor ward where I was hooked up to a fetal monitor.  One doodah for the heart beat, and a second one for contractions.  I stayed that way for almost an hour, was examined by the doctor and told nothing was happening with my cervix.  After a bit more observation, a few tests, and a look through my medical notes the doctor had a discussion with Mark and I about what we need to watch for in the coming hours / days, and when we should call them again.  Four hours after entering the hospital, we left again.

I barely slept Saturday night.  Into Sunday I continued to have the odd contraction here and there, about one an hour if that. By midday I felt like a walking zombie as I had had hardly any sleep and my nerves were frayed, wondering if this was a sign things could be imminent.  What I feared the most was, should the birth happen now, Maddie would need to spend time in the  neonatal unit, and the thought broke my heart.  I didn’t want to miss out on all the skin to skin contact, or the feedings, or simply being able to take our daughter home with us.

Thankfully, Maddie decided to stay in for longer, but it was really a wake up call for us to finish the last bits before the birth.  For one thing, we need to get a hospital bag together, as I cannot imagine having to think that much whilst going through the real deal.  Secondly, we are moving in the next two weeks and would really prefer if our daughter allows us to get that sorted before making her entrance!

Exciting times ahead.

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Dearest Maddie,

It would appear as though you had us both going, your father and I!  We assumed (and quite wrongly so) that your rough and tumble ways within the womb gave a sort of inclination towards being a boy.  When we found out about you, so many months ago, we started calling you Little Doodle (a nickname that neither gender nor birth is going to save you from!) and we used masculine pronouns when referring to you, as neither your dad nor myself could bear calling you “it” or “the baby.”

Then, come the 20 week scan, as we hyped ourselves up on the prospect of finally getting to know whether you were a boy or girl, you surprised us by taking the matter into your own hands, and your primly crossed legs prevented us from knowing.

Now that we do know, it will take some getting used to, as these past 34 weeks you have been a “he” in our vocabulary.

So I have a few promises I need to make you, little girl.  I promise to not force gender stereotypes on you, and I hope you will always feel comfortable to be who you want to be, whether that be pretending to be the princess or pretending to be the dragon-slaying knight.  I promise to always encourage you to challenge the still-present gender inequality in our society, and to stand up for what you believe in.  And I promise to raise you as best I can to not buy into the unobtainable standards of “what a woman should look like” fed to us at every turn in our society.  I cannot promise that I will succeed, but I can promise you that I will try my best.

Yesterday afternoon we bought you a pretty sun dress, complete with matching hat.  But I promise you, I also have a Star Trek onesie you will be wearing at times as well.  Boy or girl… you are probably destined to be nerdy… and we wouldn’t have it any other way.

Love,

Mom and Dad.

This is a stop motion video I made today using classic wooden blocks to show family and friends the name we have had our hearts set on for a little girl.  Our little doodle, our daughter.

In the wee hours of the morning, at 2am, I printed off my end of year assignment, put it in a display folder, and set it aside with a sigh of relief… finished and ready to be posted.  I had spent well over 40 hours on this 22 page behemoth, which contained the full spectrum of my course: biology, physics, chemistry, geosciences etc.  I worked on it for several hours a week over the last month, and it felt almost anticlimactic to have it finished and in hand.

Later that afternoon I walked unceremoniously into the post office, placed what felt like, literally, a second child into an envelope, and handed it off for posting.  Out of my hands and into those of fate.  It felt as though a burden was lifted and, when I got home, I finished the last little bit remaining this year for school: a 25 question test.  I passed the test, as I was informed immediately after submitting the answers online, and now all I needed to do was wait for the last assignment grade… the grade that could make or break me. For if I fail the final assignment, the rest of the year’s work is moot… I will have failed the course.  But I am confident this will not be the case: I worked too hard and too long on this to fail.

I’ve also begun my maternity leave… off of work for the next 10 months.  I don’t think it’s hit quite yet, but probably will tomorrow when I don’t have to be at work and I won’t have school work to finish…. what on Earth will I do with myself?!

My wonderful hubby got me these cool Skullcandy headphones for my birthday, just what I wanted.  Little Doodle likes them too.  This sweet little baby’s movements pick up a rhythmic tempo when listening to the vocals of Jerry Garcia.

That’s right, Little Doodle is a future Dead Head.

I’m so proud.